Trevors Blogspot

Uncertainty

2011-12-14T16:11:00.004-07:00

The words infiltrated my ears and took my brain captive. It was as though a lightning bolt had struck and ripped through my body. I was left in a paralyzed condition as the power went out temporarily. When it was restored it surged and all I could see was RED.... What the hell? Fury was slamming against the wall of the dam that had been erected to contain it. Logic was hiding in the darkness and I scrambled to make sense of what was said. I left the room and tried not to make it awkard. My vocal chords seemed to be prepared for me to shred them like timber through a wood chipper. Volcano? Volcano? Ha ha ha... I'm dealing with the Lava. I've found the uninhabitated island. I've been here before and I know it well. The Lava changes the terrain and colors it black, it burns through the colorful landscape leaving blackness, thick heavy blackness that becomes an eye sore. Patience is a virtue and one that I am eternally learning.

I just emotionally threw up and it felt great. I don't even really care what the circumstances might be in the end. I feel like I was drowning and slowly loosing touch with the surface. The lead ball chained to my leg just kept sinking and going downward without the knowledge that I was connected to it. I was holding the bull by the horns, staring into its glassy lifeless eye as my feet dug trenches while I fought against its attack. Then I started pushing back with each step taking control of the situation. Air has slammed into my lungs and filled me with a rejuvinated vigor for life that will be carried to all the other vital parts of my body. The burden of the world has been lifted from my shoulders and I feel capable, empowered and weightless.

Rock Steady

2011-11-09T07:02:00.003-07:00

So there have been some changes take place, yet AGAIN on this deployment. I've been relocated. It doesn't bother me though, I've been here before. Literally. I'm back at Ali Al Salem. Its a small base and the chinese food was something I had been craving since my last return home. Susan still works here too and is the filipino lady I remember her being. Still just as lazy too. Ha ha ha...

Things here are good. I like my job for the most part though I do wish it was more challenging. I'm also sharing a room with one other guy, last time there were 3 of us in a room. Either way it beats sleeping on a cot like I was in Buehring. Yes, cots and plywood floors in a big tent. It wasn't bad either. Which is kinda the case here, this isn't that bad. I enjoy this place and like being here, so it makes sense that they are trying to send us home early. LOL.

I've been contemplating my life lately, where I've been, what I've done and the choices I've made. To be honest I am content with the mistakes I've made and continue to make. I'm not perfect I feel as though I recently escaped the pressue I felt in trying to be perfect. I feel like I am looking inside the box rather now instead of being trapped inside of it. I feel comfortable like I can breath and stretch my legs out a little bit. But then there is the part of coming home, I feel like coming home I will get right back into the same rut and slide back into the box I just escaped.

I'm here at Ali alone, there isn't anyone from my Unit here. It's just me and the people I meet. There isn't anyone here that I haven't known for more than 3 weeks. Its crazy! I love it. Getting to know people and their quarks and what makes them who they are. I love asking them questions about where they are from and their life experiences. In learning about them, I feel like I learn about myself. The more I am here the more I dread coming home. Not that I don't miss my family, friends and the luxuries. But it's just the same old mundane life. Nothing new ever seems to happen when I am home and it pulls me down. I meet new people here every week and love the adrenaline I feel when I am sitting in a group of strangers.

We're all so weak and fragile. That doesn't sound the way I wanted it to. We all have weaknesses and downfalls. There isn't anybody that doesn't have a tick mark against them. My mind is full right now and there is so much I want to say. But I must be off, it's gym time and socializing time... I'm off work for the day...

Combatives... I'm going to own you!

2011-10-16T06:17:00.003-06:00

Where do I begin? I guess I should start where this all started at, that being the gym. Back in Iraq I was hitting it solid and feeling amazing, then the mission changed (again) which caused my gym routine to become interrupted. I got lazy and stopped hitting the gym for a hot minute. Until recently, I unleashed a TIGER! Malmstrombay (Charles Malmstrom) and myself hit up the PX and got us some N.O.Xplode, Volumaize and TrueMass. I also started doing some rather intense research on bodybuilding.com as well as buying some magazines that instruct proper techniques and what not. It's been a change that I have longed for during the past several years. I've never been ashamed of my body, I live and active lifestyle and therefore my body follows suit. I'm in shape but I've never been this muscular and toned before. The change feels amazing and I feel it when others see me. I have a long ways to go before I reach my ultimate goal, but the fire is lit, and baby.... ITS BURNING! Last night Malmstrombay and I tore it up, hard. We worked out arms, shoulders and chest. My arms became inflamed and the burning swept through to my shoulders. I was putting up more weight than I had ever done before in my life.

The changes are ripples of water that reach out and touch other aspects of my life. Its a delicate root system that shares its nutrients with everything it touches. My view towards the gym has just been touched and is nourishing my next challenge. Combatives. I've been in so many level 1 combatives classes that I've grown tired of them. Yet I hear Today that I've been enrolled in yet another. Starting tomorrow I begin rolling with other guys in my Unit. I'm not thrilled about it, but whatever. I'm going to take it and make it mine, I'm going to plaster my name all over it, give it my all and own it!!! When I'm on top of it, I'm going to drop kick it and bid it farewell. It's a trend I've adapted to all things bitter in my life. I don't run from the pain, I don't hide from the fear. I stare it down and remind it who's running the show.

Livin the dream...

2011-07-26T05:02:00.004-06:00

Atleast thats what the reply is these days when someone ask, "How ya doin'?" A few other personal favorites are "If I were any better I'd be twins" or "Another day in Paradise" Though the latter isn't exactly applicable until we get our boots on the sand. Granted the humor is lost in the sauce and it might not make sense to everyone. Point being, I'm here, this place sucks, but I have a positive attitude. I don't know that it sarcastic or truth, thats where the humor comes in to play. Ya never really know when someone uses one of the previously mentioned.

Last night we worked with the Air Force and it was an interesting experience. It had been sometime since I had been around my C-17 and it was refreshing to be up in them and walking the flight line with the sounds of such power surrounding me. Speaking on Power, we did some MRAP training as well... DANG! As you can see in this picture I got from the internet these beast aren't small my any means. But they accelerate like my Mazda 3 with more torque of course. It was very difficult seeing over the front of the truck and passing other MRAPS on the small dirt road provided me with some stress. But this baby could handle the bumps we hit and the seats are soft and smooth. I was some amazing training, these trucks take an IED hit like a champ and odds are higher that the crew will survive. These beast are now what we use in convoys out there in place of the HUM-V's.

So its struck me the other day how long I am going to be gone. When I left Logan I felt hopeful that there would be a lot of the same things to return to. When in reality those things will be no longer. Its saddening to have to accept that, but its better than being nieve and getting hurt when I get home. I'm certain I will be starting from scratch again regardless of what has been said. I have yet to decide if facebook is a friend or a foe, atleast it shows me what I need to see. There will be a lot of adjustments to make when I get back, but I've dealt with those before and I feel VERY confident that I'll be able to adjust yet again.

I feel like this is me getting a second chance at everything I ever wanted. My last deployment I had to literally uproot myself and leave everything behind, everything in rumble and ashes. It was the hardest time of my life yet the most educational. Since then I have been around and learned alot. This deployment will be a pivotal experience in my life. It will set me up financially, another lesson learned with the last one. I'm just looking forward to it all and happy about where it is going. We have some very solid people going with us. There are also some that I call true friends. This Unit has some serious potential to really rock some amazingness while we're at the beach.

While I was home for my 2 weeks blackout I was able to go with some friends to Vegas. It was a lot of fun and I had a great time. We were able to see Gavin Degraw and the Red Rock Inn. It was by far the most amazing Venue, because it was a poolside show. I loved it and had the best company. These are the girls I went to Vegas with, this picture was the night we went to see Gavin. It was a lot of fun and I look forward to more trips with them when we get back. We've got some more planned and it will be a lot of fun.

Well, I think that pretty much sums up about the jist of things for me. A few things that might be happening in the future. We (Nannini, Malmstrom, Russett, Schrecker and myself) might be heading to D.C., Arlington, a Blink 182 concert and a few other fun things when we get leave before we fly out. Speaking of flying, I wish I knew what kind of bird we are taking over there. I hope its chartered....

...bwaha ha ha ha....

2011-04-18T20:53:00.001-06:00

"Are those fish for something?" She asked. "No, they're just fish." He replied.

Knockin on April already?

2011-03-29T10:55:00.006-06:00

Hey, here I am again posting yet another blog. Things in mylife have been getting insane! I love it. I've been gone so much for Army training its been unreal. I can feel a career coming about. Back in February I went to Kentucky/Tennessee for a week to learn about the GPS system the Army uses. It was a little one week course and very laid back. We stayed in a hotel and only had class for 4 hours each day. I got back to Utah on the 4th of February enjoyed some time with my Mom and Sister (Katie) for my Moms birthday. Then on the 10th I was off again to Boston for some more training regarding our upcoming deployment. I realized I may have a challenging deployment coming or a very laid back casual one, depending on what I get tasked to do. I'm hoping for Caualty Operations, that being the challenge. So Bostons training was a little over 2 weeks. I got back to Logan on the 27th. Saturday the 5th of March I was on the road again with my Dad and Brothers (Zack and Brad) going cross country to South Dakota. We went back to scout out a school where Zack will be going to play Football. It was a good road trip and I loved it. We pulled into Utah.... Wednesday I believe. Saturday I was on the road, yet again. I went to Camp Williams for WLC training. It was alot more intense that I expected it to be, but looking back on the experience it was good and I needed it. I got back Sunday morning and slept for a few hours. This weekend I am headed to San Francisco for more training. I'll be gone for about a month. I love it! I love getting out and learning how to help the soldiers I am deploying with and the ones I will be coming in contact with. When I get back from San Fran I will have the month of May free. It'll be my Month to spend time with family and friends before heading to the sanbox again. After May we hit June where I wil have 2 more weeks of training, 2 weeks home and thats it. Then we head off and over. I'm looking forward to being deployed. I know the people I am going with and we are already a tight group. We've trained together before and we know how each others works. We have a solid group of soldiers and we will do amazing things overseas.

As for everything else, things are good. I only wish this stupid snow would go away so I get some rides in before I leave. For those of you who read this, if there is anybody who does, where would you go for 2 weeks of vacation time? Anywhere in the world, plane ticket is paid for, you just have to pay for lodging and food.

Summer Fun...

2011-01-14T16:48:00.002-07:00

I discovered that I could actually put videos from youtube on here. So here are some videos that a few of my friends and I made. It's a great way to remember the good times that were shared.

Learning a lesson...

2010-11-28T00:18:00.004-07:00

I bet ya didn't see this coming did you. I've posted twice in about a month. Ha Ha Ha. Anyways, lately things have been really amazingly great for me. I've been happy and it feels good. I went through a spell there for a bit that was really weighing me down and making life difficult to endure. I can't place my finger on it, but it seems to be passing. The thing that broke it was a bone chilling motorcycle ride over the hill. I hadn't been on my bike in several weeks, I was busy doing other things. Then I took it out and felt refreshed. Little by little I go forth regaining my sanity. It feels good to get out and stretch the legs a bit...

I also was able to see some friends I haven't seen in far tooooooo long. Dave and Ash came down to Brigham and blessed their little guy Jackson. As usual, I had Army that weekend and wasn't able to make it to the blessing. So we met up with their families, Andrew, Lisha and of course Johnny! It's crazy to see them both sitting there with their wives and kids and the whole picture. It seems like just Yesterday we were all hanging out at Daves house swimming in the pool and staying up late. Out of my guy friends in school there are very few of us who are single. It seems as though all the married ones have kids as well. Do I envy this? I ask myself the question on occasion. My answer varies from time to time. YES I would love to have my wife with me and our little rugrat bouncing around. But I also realize, I'm not ready to settle down for it. I am, but I'm not. I enjoy my freedom and the endless options that I have before me. Granted there are times when loneliness sets in and it sucks, it sucks way bad. But, it's the price I pay in order to dream, I guess... I dunno, it'll happen for me when its meant to. Sometimes I hope its soon, sometime I don't mind waiting.

On another note, I picked up a book Yesterday that my roommate suggested I read. It's called "The Hunger Games". I started reading it last night at about 8ish. I found I couldn't put it down, midnight came and left, 1 am, 2 am, the hours soared by. My eyelids finally forced their way over my eyes and I put the book down sometime between 2 and 3. I picked it up the next morning at 11 and read some more. I finished the book tonight about 10pm. I can't wait to continue reading and to learn what happens in the following books.

I also learned a few weeks ago about some more training I have coming up for the Army. I'm excited and look forward to visiting some new places I have never been to. And of course learning new things.

----- I travel through the darkness on a familiar road. This particular stretch and I have a history, we'd been through this before. The feeling is all too familiar. I experienced it only once before, but back then it seemed to subside much faster. I was counseled to absorb it and feel it, soak it up like a sponge. At the time I thought it was absurd, but it also made sense. It feels like a sweater formed or woven from a bristle pad, it itches wherever it comes in touch with ones skin. The natural reaction is to relief yourself of the insanity, the itch, the constant itch that never subsides. Remove the sweater, pull it off and end the madness. The hurricane force, arctic chilled wind would strike so hard the individual wouldn't know what hit them. For this very reason I deal with the itch and try to somehow embrace it, suck it up like a sponge. When I first felt the sweater being applied I learned that there was a reason for it. I didn't know why, it also felt like there was more to follow, this itchy, irritating sweater wasn't the end of it. It was just the beginning. Tonight as I travelled this same path it struck me, I'm gaining the armor that accompanies the sweater. I want to tear it all off, end the discomfort. I want to sit on the beach in a chair and smell the ocean while I toes bury themselves in the sand. The armor isn't easy to bear, it makes moving laborious and breathing a chore. It's just awkward and uncomfortable. I was told to be still, to be patient and be cautious. The words were spoken in such a manner that my soul felt them, they changed my being and I knew I must abide by them. This sweater and this armor are meant for me, they are specifically designed foe me. The challenges that are before can't penetrate the armor, the harsh, bitter cold I have to endure can't freeze me through the sweater. I have to absorb it and suck it up. I have to learn to be still and to patient in my newly awarded skin.

Borderline Personality Disorder....

2010-11-16T13:36:00.003-07:00

I have been stressed out about dating again. I haven't felt the energy or devotion like I did in my last relationship. I have felt so free and able to do so much that I have hesitated on several accounts to sacrifice everything in order to please another. I don't want to give up hanging out with all my friends or going out and doing fun stuff, going on trips, going to concerts, leaving for the Army, riding my road star skiing, camping and hiking and all the things that bring me happiness in my life. I have felt inadequate and powerless with regards to embarking on a new relationship, UNTIL TODAY. As I sat in my abnormal Psych class Today we learned about Borderline Personality Disorder. Oddly, I felt yet another burden lifted from my shoulders. I really understood and realized how dysfunctional that relationship was. I did everything you asked of me and then some, at times no matter how good it was, it wasn't good enough. I even distanced myself from friends and family in order to please YOU and make you feel better about our relationship. This sacrifice on my end has haunted me since and I have felt confused and frustrated by my choices in order to attempt to please you. But when I learned about this Disorder those feelings melted away and evaporated from my life. It's been amazing. To learn more about this disorder, check out this female that has been diagnosed with it, she explains it and has several videos on YouTube explaining it. I prefer the one titled "Idealization and Devaluation with BPD Relationships".

I don't hate you or dislike you for any reason. Things weren't meant to be and they didn't work out. I am relieved to know that I am adequate and able to please another. I wish you the very best in all you do and hope you go on to accomplish a lot.

Feelin it, and feeling good about it.

2010-10-26T21:49:00.003-06:00

So this morning as I was riding my unicorn through a wooded glen I was nearly struck by an arrow that escaped cupids bow. It had the potential to pierce my heart, but my thick skin deflected its potential defistating blow. I turned and gave cupid the warrior glare, he quivered, wet his cloth diaper and batted his ridiculous little bird wings off an away.
BAM! I'm freakin stoked when I think about the future. The next year and a half is just what I need. I feel in my element and comfortable when thinking about it. I'm headed back to the desert. I'm going to Iraq, training starts next year, which will allow me to wrap up this semester at school. Then its back and forth, up and down, in and out until later in 2011. I can't wait till June when we can start the premob tranining. I'm planning on getting my stripes before I go so I can have more responsibilities and take care of those going for their first time. I will also be gone for AT for 2 weeks and will be able to add another state to my "Visited States" list. Plus WLC and 42 Alpha classification school, which means back to San Fran or South Carolina. Either way, I'm anxious to get going.
When I get back from Iraq it's back to school and getting my degree so I can yet further my military career. I want to be a Chaplain and help soldiers with their issues, family, finance, alcohol, home sickness, PTSD, depression, whatever the case may be. I want to help them and restore their sanity and confidence they've gained and earned through their service in the military.
As for the ladies, well it is what it is. Ha Ha Ha. There are a couple that have caught my eye and several that have caught and made me squint and wonder what I was looking at. It's interesting because their names flle my mind and I remember them not.
School is good, I clepped (SP) 14/16 Spanish credits. I've still got it baby! But, since that was going in and taking the test without preparing for it, I want to study it up and then score the 16/16 possible.
Well, thats about it for now.

Ridin the highs and learning from the lows...

2010-09-18T17:50:00.002-06:00

So, it's been some time (yet again) since I have posted on my lovely lil blog. Things have been really good. They seem to be flying by at light speed and then some. Maybe light speed with a slight steroid injection and a hint of Botox, just for looks. The first week of August I moved into a new apartment and also got a new job. I quit working at Red Rock because the paychecks started bouncing and the employer didn't seem to know what he was doing with his company. So I moved on. My new roommates are freaking amazing and we all get along really well. It's ideal. We kick it in the hot tub and chat it up with the hotties if they're there, if not we just chill and relax.

School is going well, I am only taking 7 credits this semester so I focus more on my classes and truly master Psychology. I study with a friend every Wednesday for at least an hour. I'm taking an Abnormal Psych class and a Sports Psych class. Both of which really intrigue me and i find myself being enthralled with the textbooks.

Tuesdays and Thursdays I have been playing Ultimate Frisbee, its been a lot of fun. I love going out and playing barefoot sprinting through the grass like a dog chasing Frisbees. I also have seemed to mellow out on the disc golf, since they took down the course in Logan. Driving to Brigham for 9 holes just isn't that awesome and it makes me tired. But it's still a blast and makes for some great memories with my friends.

P.S. We have a 50 in plasma TV in my apartment now. If anybody is interested in watching a good flick, let me know.

Yes, but actually NO!

2010-06-27T00:40:00.004-06:00

So this past weekend I went to San Francisco with the Army. I got there and they realized there were some corrections that needed to be made and they sent me back home. I didn't feel like I was supposed to be leaving. It was always in the back of my mind that I should have considered passing up the chance to go. I went and now I have come back, when they told me I may have to return, I knew something was up. But what? What is it? What could it be? I hope it's what I'm thinking it is.

Flour is for cooking...

2010-06-16T22:11:00.007-06:00

For the past week or so my friends and I have been trying to make a movie. We have been struggling with what type, a music video, a PSA, and commercial, you get the point. So Monday we decided to just make a video. I had 4 bags of flour in my car that were originally intended to serve another purpose. So we used them instead for our video. Below you will see the results. Very entertaining.

This was after the fact. Roger is currently working on the editing of the video, which will be amazing. I've seen some clips and it will be incredible! Once I get my hands on it I will be sure to transfer to this page.

Life is Good !!!

2010-06-16T21:59:00.002-06:00

I love paying my tithing and reading the book of Mormon on a daily basis. It always excites me to see in which way the Lord will bless. The more and more it happens, the more I learn to do my part and then sit back, be patient and let him do the rest. I've overcome some interesting obstacles lately. I have endured some VERY difficult times and I have been humbled.

Last week I was with some amazing friends at the Acquatic Center. As we went running through the rain to the slide; the sun was setting in the distance. It caught the storm clouds just right and it dawned on me,"This is beauty, these are the times in life that count. God exist, he loves me and he is more aware than I am regarding my life." I've had a few occasions such as these recently and they strengthen my testimony.

Working zzzz....

2010-05-26T15:14:00.002-06:00

I was up on campus the other day looking at the job board, just curious to see what was available. I saw one that caught my attention so I called them up. They said I could interview in 45 minutes. So I hurridly revised my resume and ran down to the shop. The next day, Friday, they called me and asked if I wanted to job. I went to work 30 minutes later. I also went in at 7 Saturday morning. Monday I was in at 0645 then I got off at about 6. Yesterday I went in at 0645 again and clocked out at 10:02, thats pm. I went back in again this morning at 0645 again and we got done at 2pm. So out of the past 4 days that I've worked, I have 38 hours. 2 hours into it tomorrow and I'll start on overtime pay. That'll be nice.

The company I work for is called Red Rock Hospitality. We make furniture for places and we knock it out pretty quick. We do mass production and it pretty fun. I enjoy it alot and it keeps me on my toes, even though my hands have gotten sliced up pretty good, I still enjoy the work.

A reset button?

2010-05-20T14:35:00.002-06:00

Its insane how quick life can spin around. Just a matter of weeks ago I was going to school full time, dating a girl and working a swing shift job. Now that summer, or the rain, is here I am out of school, the relationship ended and I'm looking for another job that I work during the days. It's a bag of mixed emotions and an hourly roller coaster ride. Life in transition is always hard to adapt to. But in the end it's always worth it.

I was looking at my own pictures on facebook the other day and thinking about the times. I came across one of me riding my motorcycle. The sun was setting in the distance, the weather was warm, the roads were empty. I remember the peace I felt riding that day. I didn't have anything to worry about and was at peace with my life. There were also other times that summer I felt peaceful and full of life. The other time was while in South Carolina at Ft. Jackson. We went to Myrtle Beach just as a rain storm came crashing in. Flocks of people were running to their cars and hiding under roofs. My 2 buddies and I weren't going to get another chance at this so we went on in. It was one of the most amazing experiences ever. I stood there as the waves came in over my head. The rain was pouring down and the clouds were large and fluffy in the distance as the sun peaked over the ocean in the horizon. We were the only 3 people in sight. The vast ocean rippled before me, the huge sky drifted over my head and the lightening struck off in the distance. There was only the crash of the waves to be heard. It was incredible and I will remember it forever.

Gotta go to work now. Not exactly peaceful but it pays the bills.

Summer! Wait. Psychology paper, then summer.

2010-04-21T14:28:00.003-06:00

Do you remember those posters they used to have in the 90's about what an egg(your brain)looks like on drugs? LOL! My brain at this current moment would be able to be shown there. It would be an egg held up to light, and the light just shining through. Chu whant poke fwied wice!

So, summer is just around the corner and the valley temps have been rockin to the 70's. I've been taking my bike out on occasion and getting some riding time in. I feels so nice to have the wind blowing in my face and hair. There is something psychologically related to the level of relaxation felt on a bike.

I think my favorite thing about this time of year is the hopefulness thats in the air. All the plans that rise and sink, develop and dissolve and then become executed. I get excited and rejuvenated thinking of what I want to do this summer. I feel so incredible knowing that the sky is the limit. Do I want to work my face off and get some dough in the bakery? Or should I take a couple summer classes and chill all summer? Either way this is going to be an amazing summer. I plan on checking out www.couchsurfing.com and hopefully finding a few waves to ride.

Well, that is all.

My new toy...

2010-03-18T13:22:00.003-06:00

In the fall of 2009 I was headed out of Logan canyon, going a tad fast and ended up laying my motorcycle down. I couldnt wait till spring, but doubted if I was going to get another bike. It seemd like forever without being able to ride, but I got through it. LOL

So the last few weeks I have been looking at motorcyles, and debating getting one. A week ago I decided I couldn't drive my car to work in this amazing weather. So I decided to get a new bike. This time I was more aware what I wanted in a bike and what my options were. My last bike was a little 650cc VStar classic. It was a great learner bike and I really enjoyed it. This one is a little bigger tipping the scales to 1700cc. That nearly triples the size of my last bike. This one is also belt driven and fuel injected. The speedometer on the bike read the same as the one in my car. Not that I'm implying anything there.

The people I work with...

2010-02-26T13:21:00.011-07:00

Last year at about this same time I sat down with my Boss (Darin... He has a Harley so we know he's awesome!) to have him tell me I was getting laid off. My employment there had been expected to be terminated at some point from the beginning. I was only working part time so that I could go to school. Which is a whole other story in and of itself, but it was a miracle. So I'm getting laid off and I'm thinking to myself that I am fortunate to be in the Army cause I have more than enough to get by on using the G.I. Bill. So here we are, this time of year again and I'm waiting to be laid-off. So as I think about work I wanted to share a few pictures with you all that I have stolen from a co-workers facebook, thanks Tiff. So this is my boss Darin.(Not sure who the baby is.) He has bent over backwards for me while I have been employed at Icon. I have been amazed at all he has done for me. He understands when I am not able to make it in due to school or when I have to leave early cause I have homework to work on, he has also been very patient with my leaving with the Military. Occasionally after work we used to go to "Betos" and order some food while a few us would sit around and chat about life, work and whatever else. Darin rides a Harley, which is pretty freakin sweet and possibly one of the best things about him.(Besides his gay cow joke that makes me laugh every time.) Okay not really one of the best, but for sure one of the coolest. During the summer first part of the fall Darin and his wife, His brother in law, myself and my friend Christy all rode in the "Ride for the Fallen". It was one of the most amazing things I have ever seen or participated in. It is something I look forward to doing again in the near future and thank Darin for the invite to ride. We've been out on a few other memorable rides and I'm certain there will be many more memorable ones to enjoy in the future as well.

"Handsome Rob" is the greatest lead to have. He's way chill and has some signature sayings. "Wachaaa" would be one of them. Whenever I get talking about certain machines or this and that about life and how difficult some things are, Rob is always there to remind me of something,"Aren't you in the Army, don't they teach you how to deal with that stuff." Then we laugh and I threaten him with his life. Normally by saying that I will kill him. Rob has some awesome jokes and some real life stories that will make your stomach hurt. For sure one of the people I look up at Icon.

Here we have Josh. This guy makes me laugh quiet a bit. He shows up for work in his gold attire and changes into his usual shorts and t-shirt. He's our newest lead and seems to be enjoying his new promotion. As I look at the pictures below I keep laughing. He's so happy and chipper one minute then the next he's covered in oil and grease and ready to kill someone looking like a mad scientist crossed with a Ute Indian. He was also born a few years too early. His taste in music doesn't run parallel with those of his age group. He loves to listen to Madonnas "Material Girl" and Michael Jacksons Thriller. Watching this kid do thriller is almost as good as Darin's gay cow joke, maybe there a correlation, the verdict is still out on that one.

Korea? I'd be down for Korea.

2010-02-26T13:01:00.008-07:00

Last year over Christmas I went to South Korea with the Army for another training exercise. I was thrilled to be going cause I had never been to an Asian country before. It was excited to see their culture and see all that they had to offer. As are most countries in the world South Korea was very Americanized. As I have traveled I've come to decide this isn't particularly a good thing as I once thought it was. We are beginning to dominate the world, its diverse cultures and their unique ways of thinking.

Who doesn't love eating foreign food. Especially when its authentic as can be. On <--this side, we are eating at a a restaurant in Seoul. I'm not sure what I ate, but it wasn't too bad. I recall maneuvering some itty bitty fish onto my spoon. As I got them close to my mouth I could see their eye balls looking at me. They were dead and had some type of coating on them that made them crunchy. The rest of the food was about the same, needless to say I wasn't exactly filled as we left. In the other picture I am eating Sushi. We found a mall type food court and decided to order. It was a very complicated process and ordering was difficult. As we learned (evetnually) you pay at a desk at the entrance and then order the food from a the location you selected. It was over my head and none of us had ever seen anything like it before. The food was good and I liked it quiet a bit. They have some interesting sauces and such to go with each item on your tray.

Overall Korea was memorable. I highly doubt I will be going there again in the future so I enjoyed it while I was there. Every night we would walk off post and try and find something new. We walked many, many miles each day enjoying every step.

Germany... again

2010-02-26T12:52:00.004-07:00

At the end of January I went to Germany with the Army. This was my 3rd time visiting Germany so I wasn't too thrilled about going. It was at the start of the semester and left me scrambling to complete homework assignments I was going to be missing while I was gone and exams to jump into once I got back. But it turned out to be better than I anticipated.

The above picture was taken at Heidelburg castle near Mannheim Germany. It was my first time going to a castle and I had wanted to see one since watching "Leap Year" with Krystal a few weeks before. It was a great experience and interesting to see how they lived and what was inside of the castle. It over looked this incredible city that had a river running through the center.

Below- This is a view from a plaza below the castle. It was under renovation so I used this little statue to block out the scaffolding. Germany is a very green country and quiet scenic, I would like to take a trip there one day with my family and tour the Holocaust sites and learn more about the history that has occurred there.

Olympians or overrated contenders in athletic events...

2010-02-26T12:43:00.001-07:00

I haven't had much time to sit down and watch the Olympics this year. Normally I do enjoy watching the U.S. compete and hearing about their success stories. I love hearing about their lives, where they come from and how much hard work and effort they put into their careers. However, this year I have been disappointed by what I have read on yahoo and other sources. Did you know they ordered 100,000 condoms for the Olympians to use? For the Olympians? (http://contraception.about.com/b/2010/02/19/100000-free-condoms-for-2010-winter-olympians.htm) What happen to the discipline that comes with training? What happen to respecting yourself and those around you? I could not believe this when I read it. It's truly a sad day when the Olympic committee is expected to provide the contenders with these. I would expect them to have enough self respect for themselves and those around them to not even consider such relations. People look up to them and respect them. Talk about using your position of influence for wrong doing. When I hear this it reminds me of someone else in a position to do some amazing things and just doesn't make it happen or bombs the whole thing.

But back to the Olympics. Aside from the immoral acts that these contenders seem to be obsessing over. I'm also amazed at how poor their sportsmanship is and personal responsibility. Granted all these thoughts come from an inexperienced, uninformed spectator reporting on a small gathering of details. None the less I have been thinking about it and wanted to post it on my blog. I read the other day about a speed skater that missed his chance to shine cause his cell phone was off. First of all, who shuts their cell off during the day? Did he have a hangover from night before? Also, why wasn't her at the oval supporting his team? Granted his coach told him he didn't need to be there, but I would have been there regardless. Its the OLYMPICS!!!! Not to mention he should have been there supporting his team and those that he has trained with so hard over the months or years leading up to the events in Vancouver. Lesson to be learned by us all, if you aren't going to take your "event" seriously you won't get the chance to shine either.

Then we have a U.S. snowboarder who was sent home for scandalous pictures taken after winning third in his event. The picture shown has actually been edited by myself. The black box on the left has been placed over an image others reading my post might find offensive. But look at the faces of the people involved. The young lady will be known internationally for her indecent and crude behavior. This could affect her job interviews for months to come, relationships for months to come and if she studying the way her peers see her. This will influence her life and will not bring her much joy. The guy in the background doesn't look like hes older than 15, although I'm sure he is. They're acts are foolish and spur of the moment. What are they showing the world about their parents and their upbringing. Learning to compete in such events can't be cheap to raise a kid into, taking them to and from practice, paying the fees of memberships, buying all the equipment they'll need to compete,Hotels stays and traveling. It adds up so I don't suspect these people come from a poor background financially or ethically. My point being is that they know better, or at least they should. Anyways, just a few examples of why I am disappointed with our contenders in the Olympics. They've been given the chance of a lifetime and seem to blow it off like its nothing. I hope they grow from their experiences and become better, more responsible people in the future.

Ready to get on a plane?

2010-02-02T10:34:00.002-07:00

I'm in Germany and want to check my facebook, but I can't. Dang, government computers! So for some odd reason they allow us to get on to blogs and check out this stuff. Kinda lame right? Anyways, peace out!

Several doors...

2009-12-02T14:01:00.002-07:00

Sometime ago I found myself in this very unqiue predicament. Was it to train me for this current situation? I don't know. When I step back and think about it, logically, I know which of the two paths I would take. But then again.

So I need a map. I know my location, I know it very well and I like what I have done with it and also what others have done for it. But I'm not sure as to where I am going with it. There are a few more major touches that need to be taken, but the designer has yet to arrive, or have they? I guess in a sense thats my predicament. Which designer to choose? Choices are good, I'd rather have choices than not. But I want to pick the designer that would do the best job and have the same taste in style as myself. My usual response echoes at this point. Give it time and see what happens. There are bound to be some bumps in the road ahead and they will buck the passengers that aren't holding on tight enough. The ones who remain will prove themselves. I'm feeling hopeful.

A plan? Like, a specific one?

2009-11-10T19:01:00.002-07:00

I love, absolutely love my institute class. Every time I sit there I can feel the spirit so strongly, just saying that, I feel it now and the truth is felt throughout my body. The gospel, ladies and gentlemen of our savior and redeemer has been restored here on earth. I feel it as the spirit bears this testimony to me. It's remarkable!

So as I sat in class today and listened to Brother Jacobs (the best institute teacher I've ever had) share with us sacred teachings, I once again felt the spirit. Brother Jacobs shared a thought,"There is an old man up there ahead of you that you ought to know... Whether he is miserable or happy, depends on you. For you made him, he is you grown old." He also shared the thought, "Make no small plans; they have no magic to stir men's souls." We were also asked to write down goals that we have, 1yr, 5 yrs and 10 yrs down the road. It dawned on me that I didn't have a specific plan. I knew about what I wanted to do and where I wanted to be, but it wasn't specific enough. This is my goal for now, to decide on a goal.

What will i be doing this time of year 20 years down the road? Who will I be? What will I be? Life goes by fast and unless we hang on to it, it will but pass us by.

Im rubber and your glue...

2009-11-04T12:13:00.002-07:00

Correction... My egg has not been stolen, I thought it had been, but it hadn't. I was irresponsible and misplaced it in a very foolish location. What was I thinking? Having realized this I feel like I have just received the most ironic boost of confidence. My laughter penetrates every aspect of my life and explodes through the stale bitterness that once existed in my head. The ironic things is that loneliness and sadness no longer lurk in the darkness. The lights have been exposed and they have been discovered.

I have 2 angels in my life. They have been strong and supportive in very unique ways. People don't understand my loyalty towards them, which is fine I don't expect them to, they don't know. When my sponge like, analytical mind begins to be weighed down by absorbing and analyzing so much wish wash, they squeeze out the crap and help me regain my clarity and lighten my load. I am forever grateful for their support and the help that they unknowingly provide.

Beep... Beep... Beep... with each sound there appear red dots. I have potential and its exciting to see where it might take me. Each one dot has a mystery and behind that mystery lies an adventure that may or may not take place. Either way its propelling me and keep me sharp.

It hurts, theres no doubt about it. Its also a thing of beauty for it makes me stronger. This strength enhances my ability to be a better person and help those around me as well. Thanks Gym.

Speechless...

2009-10-31T05:08:00.002-06:00

I'm sitting here trying to think of an amazing story for the recent events in my life. It's late and I'm tired, but this just has to be done. Prepare yourselves, this could get confusing.

I have something that I have been working on and striving to perfect. It's me. While I was in the desert I found something that had been astray for many a day (You like the rhyme I busted there? ) It was a GOLDEN EGG! A golden egg that represents my life. I had rediscovered it while I was deployed and realized how fortunate I was to have it. I've been working very hard to polish it up and have it in perfect condition before I give it away or share it. Someone stole my egg! And I haven't been able to find it or get it back since, all I can do is look for it. Have you seen my egg?

2009-10-26T00:34:00.004-06:00

Its dark, with a slight drizzle. The air on his skin indicates the temperature to be below freezing, yet drops of sweat slide down his labored face. His eyes are seasoned and they create a unique relationship with his leathered skin. In his character there is little indication that he has joy in his life. A wooden, crimson stained handle rest against his leg and nearly blend with his tattered, tainted jeans. His hands are at his sides, resting on his hips and he sraightens himself. The labor he has been performing seems to match that of his breathing as he struggles to get a full breath. The air is thick and heavy. Aches synchronize with the rythmic beating of his heavy heart. His joints are stiff and his muscles have yet to feel at rest. But he was given a promise, its been 10 years and he has failed to gain it. He grasp the wooden handle and strikes it yet again, a motion that has become all too familiar for his worn body.

It's creeping just over the ridge where the man is working. It sparkles off the snow and illuminates the most respected pines. It marches like a Roman army towards victory, confident, and majestic. It warms every shadow and brightens the world it touches. It's beauty is indeed without description.

His eyes begin to swell with moisture and he starts to doubt the existence of this promise. His mind reflects on his trials, his blisters, the aches and the pains. It starts to bubble inside him like a guyser ready to burst. Thoughts of self-pity and envy fill his heart and mind. He begins to despise the tool in his hand and his environment. Threatening to hault the labor and discovery of a given promise.

The marching army steams over the ridge and erupts through the dense bush and trees. Rays of a radiant sun slam through the mans worn clothes and collide into his heart. He drops his equipment and shields his eyes as he looks upward to promising rays of a warm sun. Sobs sneak out of his mouth and he remembers once again the warmth of the sun. Tears of a calming happiness replace the drops of sweat on his cheeks. He has yet to discover his promise, but has once again regained the confirmation that it does exist and that if he labors for a time longer, he will obtain.

2009-10-19T13:47:00.004-06:00

It's like I've been running through the forrest as fast as I can. Jumping over boulders and exposed roots that creep through the ground. I bounce off the thick trunks of trees and power through thick bushes and bloody thorns. Sweat pours off my brow and into my eyes, they sting, they burn but I don't avoid the pain, it becomes a source of motivation. Everything is a blur and my focus is aimed only at acheiving a goal that seems to be more elusive than the shadows chased by the blazing sun. Then suddenly, there appears a bright pink flower that explodes violently from the usual green and brown blurs. I become a blur to the flower as I race past it chasing my elusive goal. Suddenly this captivating beauty stalls my every thought process and I'm not longer racing through the trees. I've completely haulted any form of movement. I stand there alone in the forrest. Seeing this incredible beauty I've become dumbfounded and logical thoughts escapes my mind.

2009-09-30T11:34:00.000-06:00

Here is a paper I wrote for English class. Some of the names have been changed to protect the innocent, some haven't but I don't know why. To protect the not... innocent... or the... well... Okay anyways, enjoy the read.

Ride for the fallen

“We’re going to stop for gas on the way. Do you need any?” He wore a leather skull cap, which complimented his helmet. His gloves and matching vest were leather as well. At work he was laid back and fun to be around. That same personality was expressed with a more somber feel as he straddled his Harley. Becky, his wife walked out the front door with coats and gloves in hand.
“Lindsey, would you like a coat or gloves?” Becky asked. I had picked Lindsey up earlier that morning and told her a little about the ride. She was thrilled to be going and looked forward to the experience, we both did. Neither one of us had thought about it being very cold.
“Sure.” She said with a bit of hesitation. “If it’s okay, it might get cold going through the canyon.” Lindsey took the gloves and stuck them in a bag on my motorcycle. She put on the jacket and smiled at me.
“Trevor, would you like a jacket or gloves? They aren’t black but they’ll keep you warm.” She caught me off guard. I hadn’t anticipated the offer. It was a chilly morning and the added warmth would be nice. However, I would have looked like a complete clown.
“I think I’ll be okay, but thanks for the offer.” She noticed the Goosebumps on my arm and her eyes indicated so. She stuffed the blue windbreaker into the same bag as Lindsey’s gloves, smiled and walked away.
The pair of thumping pipes excited the four riders as we rolled out of the driveway. Lindsey’s arms tightened around me as we accelerated down the road. I knew it was going to be a good ride.
Pulling into Elk Ridge Park my eyes exploded and I bit my lip in order to pin down the smile that tried to escape. I chuckled to myself as I saw hundreds of bikes, from bullet bikes to choppers, police cruisers to goldwings. The sight was amazing! We paddled our way through the ocean of motorcycles and found a place to park.
“Color guard post!” The voice cut through the crowd and caught everybody’s attention. The service members marched down the sidewalk and presented our nations flag, Utah’s state flag and a black POW MIA flag. Goosebumps burst through my skin as a surge of nostalgia rippled through my body. The National Anthem followed and the crowd was silent. They read the names of fallen soldiers, sailors, marines and airmen that had resided in Utah, finalizing the list with the name of Lance Corporal Allred. Sniffles pulsated throughout the audience. Big, mean looking, bikers with their thick grey beards and tattered jeans smeared tears from their eyes onto their black leather gloves. Shots violently burst through the air like grenades on the battle front, then again, and once more. Bagpipes slowly crept up and “Amazing Grace” replaced the tears and sniffles.
We were then given a short safety brief and released to our bikes. I sat there straddling my bike and thinking back to the time I had served my country. I wasn’t ever stationed in the combat zone. I was in Kuwait arranging flights for soldiers and escorting generals and colonels. I saw the effects of war on the faces of the honorary men and women who passed through my office daily. Their uniforms were often coated with sweat and dust. Their boots were worn and tattered. They had several different reasons for their journey. Some were returning home after a deployment, some were entering Afghanistan in order to fight, others to assist with an emergency back home. The ones I respected the most, the ones escorting home a fallen soldier. These were the ones we rode for on this day, the ride for the fallen.
Leaving Elk Ridge Park was incredible. As I looked down the road I saw an enormous long black train. Hundreds of motorcycles thumped and growled as they chugged down the track. As we approached an intersection there were sirens, I couldn’t believe there was an accident already. We hadn’t even been riding for 15 minutes. Upon my arrival there it dawned on me, we were getting a police escort and all the intersections had been blocked off for our arrival and safe passage through. Nostalgia filled my veins once more.
Once my time was up, shuffling generals, colonels and assisting the average Joe in his travels, my unit returned to Fort Carson, Colorado. Our plane landed and we walked down the stairs onto the tarmac. Camera bulbs were exploding and lights flickering in the crowd. Cheers and screams jarred our emotions. We snaked our way through an avalanche of people to a bus. Upon boarding the bus, McDonalds double cheeseburgers were thrust into our hands with a Coca Cola accompanied by a ‘Thank You’ from our battalion commander, our welcome home had begun. We rode in large greyhount type busses, we blew through intersections where cars were pulled off the road, their passengers standing outside the car with their hands over their hearts. Policemen stood saluting and war veteran bike riders followed our busses. It was a remarkable experience and one I will never forget.
Rolling through Logan Canyon the thunder echoed off the walls violently and filled our ears, yet there wasn’t a rain drop to be felt. It was a cloudy day, great for the ride. Our black train must have stretched for miles. We gobbled up mini vans and Honda civics in passing lanes and took full control of the road. We stopped for a break in St. Charles, just north of Bear Lake. The line of black leather that just moments ago covered the street, now extended from Port-a-Johns. Stories were told to strangers and friends about previous rides and experiences on the bike.
“Where’s your helmet?” I hated hearing that question almost as much as I hated encompassing my skull with a helmet. I hesitated to repsond when suddenly,“Saddle up! Let’s roll!” The voice didn’t exactly boom with a vibrant heroic tone. But it sent people to their bikes and the roaring filled the air once again. I was able to avoid the helmet question for the moment. Knowing that it would come up several more times in life. My ways of avoiding the topic would have to evolve.
The ride for the fallen continued and we took over the road once again like a fierce navy of pirates. We snaked our way through Emigrant Canyon into Preston. Once we arrived in Preston we dominated the fuel pumps as we fed our angry beast. Once they were fed we took another break at a nearby park.
Rolling back into Logan was another memorable experience. We steamed past Lance Corporal Allred’s home. It was adorned in flags that floated in the wind. Just down the road from there, a minivan was pulled over and a man stood outside of it with his hand over his heart and tears on his cheeks.
Our ride adjourned with lunch at the Park. The day’s events slowed and the large crowd seemed to shrink as time went on. The ride was memorable and I can’t wait till next year so I can participate in paying tribute to the fallen.

C. Trevor Bingham
English 2010

Too chill?

2009-09-21T12:44:00.000-06:00

I don't know what the epedemic is with some people but it seems to be coming out in masses. Laziness folks, its gotta be sheer laziness! There are so many "round" (I don't know what the politically correct term is anymore) people eating at McDonalds and destroying their bodies. People using pills to "numb the pain of life" what pain is there is your numb? I don't get it. I just don't get it, I look around me and I see all these people that are capable of so much more than what they're doing. Several of them are pretty girls that have gotten by on their beauty for so long that they wouldn't know what to do without it. Ugh! Frusterations I tell ya, frusterations! The internet and facebook, iPhone apps and myspace, food, pills, inmodesty, Xbox 360, laziness and so much more... When did people become so idle? Nobody does anything the hard way anymore. There so many easier and less stimulating things to do in life. I look around and can't believe the world we live in.... It boggling!

Gay marriage is rampant! People ask me why I don't support it (Indirectly we're talking about Hussein Obama and his support for gay marriage, just to clarify). I don't like it because it goes against my moral compass.... Yes, I said my. I'm don't care if the majority doesn't agree or if that offends someone. Its my own belief and opinion. My religous teachings have instructed me and taught me that homosexuality is not tolerable. So why do we tolerate it in our society? Why do some of us support and cheer for a leader that supports it? I can't wrap my head around it. Same thing with the legalization of Marijuana. I've never used it, never will. But I'm pretty sure its illegal for a reason. I'd venture to say that its a gateway drug, it leads to more severe addictions. Yes weed is addictive, regardless of what so and so, the pot head down the street says about it. People argue that weed isn't as dangerous or deadly as alcohol. Okay well lets make alcohol illegal too then.

Blah..g... So rather than waste all my time here ranting and raving about our failing society I pose a question.... What does one do to change the tide? How can I as an individual be heard and influence those around and persuade them to pursue a road to happiness?

2009-09-06T01:35:00.000-06:00

To the editor:

Saturday morning my husband I joined the Allred family for the Ride For The Fallen in honor of their son Lance Cpl. Micheal J. Allred. We had to actually borrow a motorcycle for the event, but we wanted to show our support to our friend Brad, Micheal’s brother. We were expecting a fun ride with a good lunch at the end and were not prepared for the emotional experience the day held. As we turned into the park we were shocked at how many bikes already filled the parking lot. Brad told us that year one there were 75 riders, year two about 130, and this year there were more than 260.I was so impressed that this crowd of tough looking people with their awesome bikes and leathers would come out to show support for this family that most of them probably did not know, and this Fallen Hero that they likely never met. Before we left for the ride we had a Patriotic Ceremony that included the raising of the flag, naming of all of Utah’s soldiers who have died in the war, a gun salute, the playing of “Taps,” and the singing of “The Star-Spangled Banner.” I don’t know that I’ve ever had a harder time singing that song than I did on this day with that particular crowd, gathered for that particular purpose.To this point I don’t think I had fully realized what these soldiers and their families were sacrificing. But to be with this family who lost their son so that I could have the freedoms I enjoy was a humbling and emotional experience. The ride was beautiful, and I couldn’t believe how fast the time flew by. We were a few bikes back from Brett Allred, who rode his son Micheal’s bike. I wondered what thoughts were in his heart this day and what memories of his son he might be enjoying as he led this huge line of bikers through the canyons. I also thought of Micheal and what he must think as he watched the line of riders out to honor his sacrifice for our country. As we made our way back to North Logan we passed a man in Smithfield pulled over on the side of the road, hand over his heart, tears streaming down his face. I couldn’t help but cry as well. Regardless of your views on war, every soldier who has ever fought in any conflict this country has faced deserves this kind of respect and appreciation.The ride ended with a drive past the cemetery where Micheal is buried and past the Allred home, both decorated with more flags. The Allreds’ neighbors lined the street, waving as we rode by. Tears again, at the thought of what this kind of support must mean to this family. I started the day expecting nothing more then a fun date with my husband, but I ended it with a newfound respect and love for the brave men and women who put their lives on the line for me, and for their families who send their loved ones off to war, not knowing if they’ll ever see them again. Their sacrifice is so great, and I never want to take it for granted again. This was one of the greatest experiences of my life, and I can’t wait until next year!God bless our soldiers, and God bless the United States of America.

Jamie CaspersonProvidence

Impressed by the mathematics, then my eyes filled with tears.

2009-09-01T13:46:00.000-06:00

Lets throw out there... say... 5-15 times a day depending. So we'll say 10 times, just for a number. This will vary and the math here isnt exact. Its just to get a sliver, a very small sliver, of an idea. 10X 7= 70. 70 times a week. 70 X 4 = 280 times a month. 280X12 = 3,360 times a year. 3,360 X 72 (given you live to be 72.)=241,290 times in a lifetime.
(As of Today there are 6,781,418,209 people living on the earth according to http://www.census.gov/ipc/www/popclockworld.html) 241,290 time per lifetime X 6,781,418,209 current day inhabitants = 1,636,288,399,649,610 just as of Today. So keep that number in mind. Wikipedia states "World births have levelled off at about 134-million-per-year." 134,000,000 births per year X 2009 years = 269,206,000,000. So there have been around 269,206,000,000 people that have lived on this earth since year 0 AD until Today. 269,206,000,000 inhabitants to current year X 241,290 times per lifetime = 64,956,715,740,000,000 (Summary: Today there are 1,636,288,399,649,610. Past there are; including this year 64,956,715,741,000,000...) These numbers aren't accurate. There are several more variables that need to be taken in here and accounted for. However, they represent something that I am very, very appreciate of.

Today I sat in institute. The teacher flashed a number on the board. 10X7= 70 times in a week. Then he added the months, months turned to years. 3,360. 3,360. 3,360! 3,360!!!! In a year! It makes me sick to my stomach and the tears spill from my eyes. Add to that a lifetime, add to the lifetime the present number of people on this earth. That gives you your current figure. Then take into account all those that have come and gone before you and the number swells. Further more take into account all those that have yet to come and it increases even more..... Miraculous. All I can say is that it is quiet the price to pay. Yet all he said was, "O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt." (Matt. 26:39) I'd like to express my nieve, uneducated, oblivous, graditude for the incredible task our savior took upon himself in atoning for our sins. How can I doubt his love? Not only for me, but for ALL mankind.

The evolution of one..

2009-08-21T00:35:00.000-06:00

So, while I was Narnia with the T-Rex... Okay, it never happened, but just think if it had. Amazing, right? So seriously. What is it with being single thats so bizarre? Or maybe its just that I have found myself a little more. Just a few days ago it dawned on me that I have pretty much quit trying to chase the ladies. Perhaps the last few experiences with relationships have just left an awfule taste in my mouth, especially the last one! (Yes, thats an exclamation mark, never been cheated on before, that was a new one. Still a little bitter I guess. LOL) But it seems as though something inside of me has changed. I still see girls and am attracted to them, I still get nervous and uncertain around the ones I am drawn to. Maybe its a fear of commitment, I don't want to finalize anything for fear of having to deal with breaking a heart or having one broken. On the other hand, it is part of life, we learn from each experience and when they get hard we have to keep pushing through. Anyways, thats the latest little thought/feeling I've been having.

Also on my mind a lot lately are the choices we make. Do you realize that it was quiet possibly the power of choice that literally, and I do mean literally, split the heavens in the pre-existence. One side wanting us to be able to chose, the other against it. And here we are Today making choices and changes to our very lives as if there was nothing to it. I see people all the time and I look and them, their clothes, their hygiene, their cars, their behavior and I wonder ,"What did they do to get where they are?" Because, every choice we make has its very own set of outcomes, those outcomes have predtermined consequences that lead to other choices and consequences. The meth addict didn't wake up one morning and decide that they wanted their teeth to rot out of their head, the alcoholic (aware of their issue or not) didn't just decide to become an alcoholic. It all starts at some point, with some small choice. That choice might not even be related to the final destination. With so many variables and possibilities, its mind blowing. Thinking about this all the time makes me refelct on the commandments and the importance they have in our lives. Satan has ingeniously warped them to be seen as "fun-preventers" or things that keep us from doing what we want to do. In my own life I have seen a difference in going to church on Sundays. I knew a person that enjoyed other activities on Sundays and skipped church often. As I sat there in Sunday school learning and absorbing the doctrine I thought of that person and the opporunities they were missing that could better their life. What consequence will that choice hold for that person? I don't know, but there are several paths it could go.

Anyways, I'm kind of just rambling now, so I will be going. Thanks for reading and feel free to drop a comment. It's always nice to hear what people think of my ramblings. LOL

2 kinds of pain...

2009-07-27T02:24:00.000-06:00

1- The type of pain that you get from working hard and doing things right.
2- The pain of regret, looking back at a time and knowing you could have done better or more.

Yo Estoy... SOLO

2009-07-27T01:57:00.000-06:00

A light turned on the other day, in my kitchen. I was just getting home from work and had a bit of an appetite. So I popped open the fridge and went over my options. Nothing seemed like it was capable of hitting the spot and then a lightbulb exploded. I'm single, and I'm okay with it. HA HA HA! For quiet possibly the first time in my post puberty life I don't have any girl I'm chasing. Granted there are a few young ladies out there that are eye catching. But I haven't found myself head over heals yet for any of them. Oddly enough, I'm okay with that. Though I'm not sure as to why. I'm NOT gay, just to clarify any doubts that might be out there. I think that I am content with finding who I am. I've realized that I really, sincerely, honestly, don't fully grasp who I am. So, if I don't know myself better than anybody else, what good does it do me to search for my companion? What would happen if I found her and didn't know who I was? It would be like pouring the milk without having the bowl or cereal. For that reason I am content in not having "anyone". I need to solidify who I am, what I am about, where I am headed and know more about myself before I can expect to find her. LOL, its so ridiculous. I know shes out there and I know she is amazingly amazing in all of her amazingly amazingness! I also wanna say that its just around the corner. That perfect storm is about to collid and we're about to meet. Well, maybe we've met. But we're about to discover each other. I don't know. But it is out there, I can sense it and I know that its there. This knowledge is, at times, the only thing that gets me up on some mornings. The only thing that helps me sleep during the somehwat lonely nights.

Really people, especially my single people, lets face it. Being single is not easy. The push and the pull, the games or perhaps the lack of games. The second guessing, the "maybes" the "ifs" and the worst, the "what if's". The "what if's" kill me. My biggest fear about being, true, sincere, friends with a girl is that she will develop feelings for me and I none for her. What then? It's done and over with, once its out there ya can't go back. You can't pretend like it didn't happen... LOL... Anyways... Do you like cheetos?

The smell of manuer...

2009-07-27T01:43:00.000-06:00

Its sweet.... riding in the back of a jeep with the top off, rockin out to Neil Diamond. Wind blowing in your hair, everything muffled and silent. Then the smell of a cow blasts its way into your nostrils and jerks you back into reality. The reality that your riding in the back of a jeep, the top off, rockin to Neil Diamond. It was sunday Today and we went to see my Grandma and Grandpa Green in Preston. Their both happy all the time and just "tickled" (As grams would say.) to see us walk through the door. Their happiness radiates and penetrates my being and makes me feel alive and loved being there. We went to see Grandpas horses, his babies, and the look on his face is childish. Its like a little kid at Christmas. The most amazing thing is seeing Grandma support his time being spent there. He puts in long hours putting around his ranch and making this ordered to his liking. Grandma permits it, because she knows it makes him happy. I just think thats amazing.

Today, Grandpa talked about how one of my Uncles would look through the window of my great grandparents house and watch them hold hands while they watched TV. My uncle just thought that it was neat that 2 people loved each other like that. I look through a different type of window at my grandparents and see the love they have for each other. Grandpa was standing there and Grandma was holding his arm, I wondered,"Is he aware that she is holding him? Or is she aware that she is?" That isn't the type of stuff that you can conceal. They are yet another example of amazing that I have in my life. I'm surrounded by it everywhere I turn.

Pero, de verdad...

2009-07-27T01:14:00.001-06:00

So this morning I lassoed the biggest T-Rex I've ever seen. Then I rode him to the North Pole and watched the northern lights. It was an extremely remarkable experience and I loved it. Okay, so not really... I rode him to Narnia, but I had ya going didn't I? LOL

Lately things have been moving in slow motion for me. I'm making myself slow down and suck it all in. I was riding my motorcycly home from my Dads one weekend and I looked over the valley and saw the fields with their sprinklers kicking water out. The sun was setting, the air was cool, the road empty. It was peaceful and for the first time in a long time I realized I didnt appreciate much in my life. I have so much more than I deserve. 1 week before I was at my Dads again. Probably running from the pain I had grown tired of facing. I sat there thoughfully wallowing in self pity and thinking of how bad my life sucked. Taking in all my errors and all my mistakes and feelis useless and abandoned. I fell asleep feeling this way and woke up to my Dad telling me he had been called in to work, yes on a Sunday. So he took my car to work and came back a few hours later. I slept the whole time, it was the best way to get through the pain. Later in the day it came time for me to leave. It had been yet another good day at my Pops, we ordered pizza and enjoyed our time together. Something we hadn't done too often growing up. As I drove away I noticed there was more gas in my car than I had arrived with. My eyes swelled with tears as I thought about my Dad pumping the gas in my car. He didn't have to do it. These are the people I have grown up with. These are the people that have been and continue to be an example to me in my life. Yet, I was so focused on me, I failed to see others and their needs. I've slowly started to learn that true joy comes in helping others find that same joy we're seeking. Thanks Pops for the pizza and gas.

Road Trppin it up!

2009-07-07T02:09:00.000-06:00

Friday morning, the weekend before the 4th of July, my friend and I departed on a cross country road trip. It was an amazing experience, one I will never do again, and never forget. LOL. We returned on the 3rd of July at 0430. Almost exactly one week to the hour of our departure. I had an amazing time. We passed through Wyoming, Nebraska, Iowa, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Canada, New York, Connecticut and then back home. According to Yahoo Maps it was about 4929.03 miles and 74 hrs 29 min. Plus the time driving around in Connecticut. We slept at truck stops on the grass and in the car. We also stayed with friends in Connecticut and made some amazing memories. I'll put some pics on here soon, maybe, if I decide to take the time. I should hire someone to do this stuff for me. LOL. Any takers?

What is what?

2009-07-07T01:57:00.000-06:00

Things. No. Life is interesting. It comes and it goes, it rises and it falls. Sometimes its rough and nearly unbearable, for some, unbearable. But in the end, like many things, it demands to be respected. I was recently on the East coast and swimming in the Atlantic ocean. It was raining and thundering as we swam. There was a spectacular coloring in the sky and waves grew large. As each wave slammed me to the ocean floor, a respect was given. To these massive swells of water, I was nothing. My presence there didn't change their course or influence their direction. It was a once of a lifetime experience. There were only 3 of us on the beach and the rest of the world was vacant and empty. Its all so massive and we're so small and insignificant. The rain poured onto my face and the thunder crashed, lightning sparked in the sky. The rest was silent, peaceful, reverent.

I've been wondering lately, what role do we play in the lives of those around us? Do we build people up, or tear them down? Do we make them feel invincible or invisible? Do we let people around us know that we appreciate their strengths and weaknesses? Over this 4th of July weekend I found myself in a room full of good friends. As I scanned the room I realized how lucky I am to be surrounded by such amazing people. My friends are solid and stable. They aren't a bunch of loose cannons and they have their ideals, goals and desires in order. It just blows my mind that I am sitting there amongst them. Who am I?

2009-06-11T19:32:00.000-06:00

In 2000 I was walking to a class in

High school, late and joking in the halls.

I had a test I wasnt prepared for and needed a pen.

I saw the Army recruiters with an array of

yellow pens spread across their table.

I went over knowing they were

free and that I needed one.

So, I signed some paper to get the pen.

It asked for my phone number and name.

"Suckers, I get a free pen and they

get a rejected phone call." Little did I know.

Thats why I joined the Army in

November of 2000.

March 31st 2009, things have changed, I've changed.

I decided to reenlist for 6 more years in the Army.

But this time it isn't for the pen.

The Army has changed my life.

The Soldier's Creed:

I am an American Soldier.

I am a Warrior and a member of a team.

I serve the people of the United States and live the Army Values.

I will always place the mission first.

I will never accept defeat.

I will never quit.

I will never leave a fallen comrade.

I am disciplined, physically and mentally tough, trained and proficient in my warrior tasks and drills.

I always maintain my arms, my equipment and myself.

I am an expert and I am a professional.

I stand ready to deploy, engage, and destroy the enemies of the United States of America in close combat.

I am a guardian of freedom and the American way of life.

I am an American Soldier.

Just kickin it....

2009-04-17T13:37:00.000-06:00

I love my life! Straight up love it! I have got to be the luckiest and most blessed indiviual in the world. Life is good and I love lovin' it. Sometimes its hard and we don't get it, but I love the smell of the rain after the storm! I also like seein all the worms on the sidewalks! ;)

So I've got a few things to update on. I re-enlisted in the Army on the 31st of March. It was a simple and quick process for the most part. But I feel good about it. Is it going to be easy, probably not. Worth it? For sure, I have no doubts about that one. I'm going to be gone for a majority of the summer doing trainings and what not, but i'll be home for the 4th of July. So thats good, nothin better than having a bbq with friends and celebrating our nations birth.

As for school, my records now indicate that I am a psychology major. Which is excellent. I am wanting to help people with addictions, pornography, alcohol, drugs etc. I also want to help families by helping them acknowledge and fortify their weaknesses. The thought of helping these people gets me pumped up and excited. It makes me happy and brings joy to my life. I feel like I am undoubtedly walking on the path the Lord prepared for me to be walking on. Its a good feeling and I love knowing that he is walking it with me. He's by my side and I know that he is. I see his hand in my life daily.

I gotta chat with a buddy about a possible business opportunity. Hope your all doing amazing and keepin it real or make a deal. L A T E R S!

Blogger!

2009-01-22T13:19:00.000-07:00

So a few days ago I sat here at the computer and jotted down all sorts of thoughts, ideas, plans and what not. As I was posting, you guessed it, gonzo! So here I sit yet again to recreate what was lost.... or so I thought. I found the post I wrote and is now posted. Its called "mission accomplished"... LOL. Thanks goodness for the autosave huh?

Here we go. LOL. So we'll start with a follow up for the posting "3 day vacay". I went for a road trip to Seattle. I left Friday morning at 0850 headed to Tremonton to catch the freeway. 13 and a half hours later I arrived in Seattle. It was a long drive but one I needed. I don't know what it is about being in a car for several hours alone, but its therapuetic. I think its cause I have time to think about my life. I think about the possiblities I have and where I want to go and what I want to do with it. Its amazing how endless the possibilities are when you sit down and think about it. Needless to say I am VERY grateful for my life, what I have, what I don't and the direction its headed in. I feel full and complete with what I have in my life. I'm grateful for the help and supoprt of my family and friends in getting me through the hard times and accomplishing what I have in my life.

Memorial day 2008 I drove to Lethbridge, Alberta, Canada. It was also a long drive, 10 hours or so and just under 700 miles. Seattle was further, just under 800 and about 12 hours. Its a blast. I love doing it. Canada was spur of the moment, I woke up that morning and looked at a map on my wall. I wanted to drive, I looked over the destinations that surrounded, considered people I knew at each one. I narrowed it down to Canada, Mexico and the Redwood Forrest in Cali. Eliminated Cali and left for Canada. Who knew you'd need a passport or a birth certificate at the border? I didn't plan that far ahead. Luckily border patrol felt sorry me and let me pass through. Good thing I wasn't packin my 9mm. As I rolled across the border it dawned on everything was just farmland and I didn't have a place to sleep. So I drove into Lethbridge and got a discount on my hotel for being in the Army. I thought it was amuzing, getting a discount in one country for serving the other. The next morning I woke up and drove back home.

Seattle was a little different. Rather than waking up and leaving the same day. I talked to to my contacts there and made plans about 3 days prior. Then I headed off and spent the weekend there. I left Friday the 16th of January, my 26th Brithday and got there that night. Spent the weekend and headed home Monday morning. It was a good drive minus the fog. It was dark and I was moving at about 85 mph through the pass in the fog. I figured if I was gonna hit something, I might as well hit it fast and hard. Okay so that wasn't really what I was thinking, it was more along the lines of..."I hope this road doesnt just randomly end." Saturday we went to the Space Needle and ate at McDonalds. It was a lot of fun. I really wanted to go swimming but being that it is January, the ocean would be a bit cold.

Anyways, I gotta get going. Homework calls my name. But if any of you are interested in going on a road trip at any time, let me know. We can arrange one and do something freakin awesome and totally crazy!!!

Mission accomplished...

2009-01-20T09:03:00.001-07:00

13.5 hours... Thats how long one sits in their car while driving to Seattle Washington. I made several friends along the way though, they're all gone now. I'm not sure where they went, I had 30+ people in my car, it was awesome. Okay, so not really but, it was a party. Driving for that many consecutive hours alone will make ya loose your mind. LOL. So yeah I went to Seattle for the weekend. I drove up and hung out with some friends for a bit. It was nice getting away from the Valley and seeing something new. Seattle is amazing.

Driving that many hours leaves one to ponder and think a lot. And just when you think you've got it figured out, you rethink it again. Mostly cause there isn't anything else to do. I've come to realize something pretty amazing. If you think you have it bad, somebody has it worse. While I was in Seattle I was talking to some friends about their problems, their dreams and their futures. I'm thankful for where I am in my life and where I am headed. I have a lot going for me. I have a golden egg. I found it in the sand while I was in Kuwait. I don't know what happened or how I seem to have become so blessed and so fortunate in my life. I don't feel like I deserve all the amazing things I have in my life. What have I done that has set me apart from my fellow man? Why am I one of the lucky ones going to college and majoring in MY preferred field of study? Who am I in comparison to the person next to me? Sometimes I look at my life and all the joys and luxuries I have and it makes me sick. I have so much and there is so much going for me. Why can't someone with less have some of what I have?

Life has its challenges and nobody can escape that. There are indeed days when you wake up and just wanna tell the world exactly how you feel. Everybody has those days. I've been raised to "Buck up" and deal with it. My Mom has been a backbone in my life. Talk about a blessing. I look at the relation others have with their mothers... others, mothers...LOL.. anyways. I have been called a mamas boy at times in life. Which I find odd. So one day last semester I had an light bulb experience. After having been called a mamas boy at this age in my life I have wondered why these people think that. Here is what I have come to conclude. When I was but a boy, my parents split. They had differences and decided to go their seperate ways. I was an only child. When a family divorces the children will often turn to each other for support and emotional backing. Well, being an only child I didn't have that luxury for someone to turn to. Without knowing it I turned to my Mom for that support. It is for that reason that the bond between my Mom and I is indeed so unique. We went through it together. I depended on her for everything, and she depended on me for... well to depend on her, I guess. LOL. Thanks to being in college and my FCHD 2400 class I learned why the bond between my Mom and I was special.

3 Day Vacay

2009-01-15T09:39:00.000-07:00

Monday is Martin Luther King day or something ... AKA NO CLASSES! So I think I smell a road trip coming up. I'm itchin for another lenghty drive. Memorial Day weekend I took a drive up to Canada. Simply cause it was a 3 day weekend and I had never been there, so I took off drivin. I'm thinkin maybe seattle this weekend. I've never seen the Space Needle and would like to check it out. I also have some friends up there and so I wouldn't have to be paying for lodging. Or maybe I'll stick around here and chillax for a few days. Not too sure really. But a road trip would be nice.

So I feel as though I have decided on a major. Psychology. I've realized that my thought process is consistent with that field. My questions that I pose on life seem to stem from a psychological perspective. Its something that captivates me. So I am pretty sure that I will pursue it as an educational goal. As to what level, I am not sure. Masters? Phd? Bachelors? More than likely it will be post grad. Trying to find a career in Psychology with a Bachelors degree is like being lactose intolerant and stuck in the dairy isle at Smiths. ;) So Psychology. Next semester will more than likely be when I declare.

Lets see, what else can I post on here. Ah yes. The Army. I'm sure that whoever reads this is probably tired of hearing me debate back and forth regarding reenlistment. Well Today my thoughts are reenlisting. My reasoning is rather simple or perhaps greedy. The Army is actually a good plan B. I've been thinking about going to ROTC. I would train how to be an officer in the Army and possibly pursue a career in Psychology. I haven't spoken with anybody regarding it all, but there are several options that make me want to stay with the Army. It really isn't as bad as people think it is. Much like any large company there are several jobs that are required to keep it alive. The Army is the same. Everybody I talk to at work or school assumes that Army = death. Thats not exactly how it is. LOL The Army has provided me with some amazing experiences and has given me the opportunity to network with people on an international level. I've travelled to other countries, had lodging and food provided and I am getting my allowances while being there. Germany, Korea, Kuwait, just to name a few. Never in my wildest dreams would I have seen myself in Korea or Kuwait for Christmas and New Years. The Army has given me a backbone in my life. Its something I enjoy and gives me a broader understanding about life and how complex it can be.

Anyways, I gotsta get going to class. If you or someone you know is interested in joining the Army, let me know. I would glad to answer your questions and provide you with more information if you'd like.

2009-01-08T12:50:00.000-07:00

I figure I had better put something on here since it has been about a month since my last posting. I owe some people congratulations so to Bret and Kari, Congrats with Hayden. He is for sure his papas boy! Chris, nice job getting through school! If you want I would love to trade you places and you could take my classes for me... And Happy New Year to everybody else! (sorry if I missed your congrats, they are free so take one if you'd like one.)

As for my life recently, things have been enjoyable. I was able to go to South Korea over Christmas vacay and see another country. I went there for 2 weeks training with the Army for a postal operation. We had an enormous amount of time to visit the country and see the people and their culture. We even saw a dog farm... a DOG farm.... LOL. I also ate some sushi of course and a small small fish. When I first saw it I thought it was some type of plant or dessert. As the sppon got closer to my mouth I noticed it was a bunch of small dead fish. Their little eyes looking back at me... So I shoveled it in and swallowed. It wasn't too bad.

In order for me to go to Korea I had to extend 3 more months with the Army. My contract now expires on March 15th. They've dropped reenlistment bonuses and with it my excitement to reenlist. So thats that.

I've started yet another semester at USU. I've got 13 credits this semester and will need to declare a major by next fall. Hopefully this semester will help me decide on something. Right now I am deciding between, psychology, political science, economics and maybe teaching.

Thats it for now. LOL.... Big gulps huh? Well, see ya later....

Army Life

2008-12-08T15:40:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty much set on retirement with the Army. There are too many benefits that can't be ignored. With this choice there come some consequences. One of the immediate ones is the loss of a relationship. The girl I had my mind set on has told me that if I re-enlist, she is going to walk. I understand, its not for everyone. But that doesn't make it any easier. I only wish she could expand her tunnel vision and see the benefits as well. Anything worth having is worth working for. With the military benefits being as amazing as they are, they're going to require a great deal of sacrifice. Not everybody gets that.

As for Korea, well its interesting. I'm scheduled to depart soon and it's a growing headache trying to get everything together before that departure. I need to endure hours of briefings that will need to be done on my own time, I need a new ID card, which requires driving to Layton or Salt Lake to get a new one. I also need to pack, without a packing list and take 3 more finals this week. In an attempt to get a head start I decided to head to Layton and get an ID card, their offices are closed till later in the week. So I decided to contact Salt Lake, they aren't willing to squeeze me in until later in the week. So here I sit venting a bit on my blog. Which I really don't have time to be doing....

On that note, see yas later!

2008-11-26T17:20:00.000-07:00

2008-11-26T17:19:00.000-07:00

2008-11-26T17:17:00.000-07:00

2008-11-26T17:16:00.000-07:00

2008-11-26T17:12:00.000-07:00

Yet another journey?

2008-11-17T16:11:00.000-07:00

Last week I attended a meeting with a group of USU students headed to mexico to build houses for the poor. They set the departure date as the 27th of December and would be there until the 3rd or 4th of January. I was planning on going until the following.

This past weekend I had drill for the month with the Army Reserves. As I was driving down I was contacted via cell phone by my squad leader. She informed me that they are putting some people together for Korea and that I might be going. Korea? Its like one of those places you never plan on going in your lifetime. Kind of like Kuwait, Afghanistan, Venezuela, or Kyrgystan. Its just one of those places you know of, but ever being there never crosses your mind. So it looks like I am headed to Korea. Its going to be an amazing opportunity and I am thrilled to be able to go. Its the chance of a lifetime!

This leads me to wonder, where is my career with the military going? Should I re-enlist and continue with the Army lifestyle? Should I allow my ETS to occur and leave the Army? They both carry enormous consequences and will lead me down very different roads. If I stay in the Army I run the risk of being deployed. I don't mind deployments, they aren't too bad with my MOS. Leaving a newly formed family would be the challenging part. How would I be able to leave my wife and kids behind for a year? Being single and deploying is far easier. Yet with re-enlistment, I'll get a signing bonus as well as a nice retirement setup. I would retire at 37. 37! Thats amazing. I would then draw on my retirement at 60. Being a reservist I also have the ability to have the Army pay for me to get a degree of my choice. Which means I'll be working in the civilian world and also on the Army on the side. I'll be getting money from a degree uncle sam paid for as well a monthly drill check. So that means 2 sources of income. Upon reaching 60-65 years I'll draw a double retirement. Looking at it from my angle, I think the re-enlist is by far the better option.

Anyways, thats my blog for now. Thanks for reading and dont forget to drop me a comment.

WAR!

2008-11-10T13:04:00.000-07:00

This gay marriage thing is incredible! I have continued reviewing articles and the views expressed from a worldly perspective. Its scary and the thought of a second coming is amazingly realistically close. This has got to be what the people and residents in Sodom and Gomorrah felt. I can't believe the hatred and vile comments that sting my soul. People from the homosexual community are unreal. In supporting our lifestyle and protecting our way of life and our beliefs their ways are being disputed and repelled. Its a struggle.

"In talking with Bennion, one gets the impression he sees himself as a referee trying to make sense of a particularly chaotic boxing match. Mormons, who make up just two per cent of California’s population, have raised nearly half of the $22.8 million collected in support of Proposition 8. Conversely thousands of their fellow church members have asked that their names be removed from church records so as not to be involved with an organisation that is perceived as being anti-gay." - http://www.newstatesman.com/north-america/2008/10/gay-rights-church-bennion

I didn't realize before that this issue was pulling members away with it. Some are gay some aren't but they support it. It is clearly written and is doctrine in the church that gay marriage isn't allowed. Homosexuality is a sin, it always has been, it always will be. People try and compare it to polygamy. They aren't the same, homosexuality has been evil since the beginning of time, if everyone was gay the world would cease to grow and would eventually die. Why would God allow some people to be gay, but others not. Eveybody is created equal and all are commanded to obey. If you refuse to do so, you are indeed going aginst the same god that created you. In supporting this sin, you are in the same predicament. "Hate the sin, love the sinner." This is very true, but supporting them in their sin isn't loving them.

Slowly but surely this sin and lifestyle is beginning to creep into our society. Our church has taken a public stand on it and is now being attacked for doing so. How can so many members of the church, be so confused and angry about being told they shouldn't support sin? I don't understand.

It makes me sad to know that there are people out there that are so strong in supporting same-sex.

Here is what they are portraying the LDS church as. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7MPUfGnH5o&feature=related

I'm glad they didn't win and I fear in the near future they may.

It sourrounds us...

2008-11-10T11:37:00.000-07:00

Before I started writting this I received an email regarding a LDS members journey to the temple recently amidst portest in California. After reading such an email I wanted to blog... LOL... and as a result I had an entire blog written regarding gays and their weight on society. I was researching their influence on society and how that choice of lifestyle destroys a culture. I then began reading on the church website about homosexuals. Getting more advice and information from the worlds best resouce. I found some good information that balnkets several things that are destroying America and the world as a whole. So rather than just repeating the information in my own words, I'll copy and paste.

---Homosexuality
The Church’s stand on homosexual relations provides another arena where we offend the devil. I expect that the statement of the First Presidency and the Twelve against homosexual marriages will continue to be assaulted. Satan is only interested in our misery, which he promotes by trying to persuade men and women to act contrary to God’s plan. One way he does this is by encouraging the inappropriate use of sacred creative powers. A bona fide marriage is one between a man and a woman solemnized by the proper legal or ecclesiastical authority. Only sexual relations between husband and wife within the bonds of marriage are acceptable before the Lord.
There is some widely accepted theory extant that homosexuality is inherited. How can this be? No scientific evidence demonstrates absolutely that this is so. Besides, if it were so, it would frustrate the whole plan of mortal happiness. Our designation as men or women began before this world was. In contrast to the socially accepted doctrine that homosexuality is inborn, a number of respectable authorities contend that homosexuality is not acquired by birth. The false belief of inborn homosexual orientation denies to repentant souls the opportunity to change and will ultimately lead to discouragement, disappointment, and despair.
Alternatives to the legal and loving marriage between a man and a woman are helping to unravel the fabric of human society. I am sure this is pleasing to the devil. The fabric I refer to is the family. These so-called alternative life-styles must not be accepted as right, because they frustrate God’s commandment for a life-giving union of male and female within a legal marriage as stated in Genesis. If practiced by all adults, these life-styles would mean the end of the human family.
http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=f318118dd536c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=c31c226fecfdb010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&hideNav=1

Here is another artcile addressing homosexuals and their lifestyles.

http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/public-issues/same-gender-attraction

Hopefully these articles were able to fortify your thoughts about the realated issues. I know they did for me.

We as members in the chruch need to better study our doctrine and understand out beliefs. As I was researching the topic of Today I realized, we are surrounded by it. Everywhere we turn there is some sort of sin. I personally had been turning the other cheek and thinking, thats just their lifestyle. If they choose to live that way, who am I to say they are wrong? After reading about their anger and hatred towards us. I realized everybodies rights are at stake here, my families rights, my rights and those of the generations to follow. Its time I stop turning my cheek and not caring anymore. Our country has endured severals wars and 2 great attacks due to our freedoms and rights. The church I love and adore is now being attacked for its beliefs. Its time we as members of the church stand up for what we believe in...
"Freedom of religion is at risk," -L. Whitney Clayton, Presidency of the Seventy

The Ballet or Warren Miller...

2008-11-05T12:38:00.000-07:00

Speaking about respecting life... Monday night I strolled down to the Ellen Eccles theatre ready to enjoy a night at the ballet. As I browsed a few books at the Book Table before the show I looked at my ticket and saw that it was actually for Wednesday, or tonight. Which totally killed me! Not because I was looking forward to going to the ballet Monday night, but because Warren Miller is Tonight and I won't be going, instead I'll be at the Ballet. This had better be the best ballet in the world! I would love to go Thursday night to Warren Miller, but I have to work. Sometimes being responsible makes me want to be irresponsible instead. LOL

Realms and Respect

2008-11-05T12:12:00.000-07:00

I was walking home from school a day last week pondering life and all that it involves. A thought was impressed upon my mind, "Respect life" but more in the sense that people respect Avalanches, Waves, Volcanoes, Earthquakes, Tornadoes and Hurricanes. They all harbor a certain power and a majestic inspiration. Life has its ups and down, no doubt about that one. I ask, what are our views and perspectives with regards to life and it trials? Do we repulse them and wish them to pass? If we do, maybe we should change that. This is a lesson I was taught a few years back, but just recently realized. As I was enduring a challenge that arose in my life, a mentor told me,"Suck it up Trev, absorb everything and take it all in. You'll never be here again in your life. This is an important lesson for you to learn." That advice has since been applied to several other aspects in my life that are uncomfortable and challenging. I'll never be here again, so I had better accept it and learn from it while I can. Some things in life may seem reoccurring, debt or poor money management for example or other types or mundane repetitious trials in life. To these trials I have 2 sayings that I apply in my life. "If you never change what your doing, you'll always get the same results." And as a follow up to that I say, "Nobody can change your life but you. If there is something in your life that you don't like, nobody can change it for you." Granted there are some limits to changes you can make. Learn what you can and can't change and change what you can, learn to accommodate things you can't. Examples; Obama is our new President, I don't like him or the "change" he promises, I voted against him, but fact of the matter is, he's the new President. I can't change that so I'll learn to accept it.

In closing, respect life. Don't look to the future for your better days. Life is to be enjoyed, not endured. Enjoy your trials and tribulations, you might not ever get to learn from them again.

Endlessness

2008-10-27T17:37:00.000-06:00

The past few days I've been pondering a lot about a career and deciding a major. So much in fact that at times I randomly ask friends and family rhetorically what should I do. Today I sent out a mass text asking several people what they pictured me as when they pictured me in my career. Interestingly enough, the common reply was coordinator of some sort, a cop, or a counselor. I have been considering counseling, listening to people and discussing ways to help them overcome or cope with challenges in life is something that fascinates me. I would also like to be a camp coordinator that assist troubled teens in getting through their troubles. It would also be fun to be a cop on the side or a search and rescue volunteer. Like my mentor and hero MSG Curt Boyack.

In sorting through the mess of reading my future and committing to a choice I've come to realize... RE-realize something. There are no limits, the only limits that exist are those that we put on ourselves. I am capable of doing anything I want, as are you. Next semester I have decided to learn how to play the guitar. This summer I want to learn how to fly, if I don't end up getting a summer job and leaving. These are goals and desires I have had for a long time. In the summer of 2006 I was faced with a life changing event. It caught me quiet off guard and shook my world. But it also gave me a new perspective on life. I decided I was going to start living and make the most of my time as a single adult. I went skydiving and bought a motorcycle and was deployed shortly after doing so. It put my life on everything on pause, dating, school, work and social experiences. I am just now regaining that fire inside of me to live again. I feel it walking around on campus. I feel like there is a beast inside of me that is clawing to get out, now is the time to set it free. Moral of the... idea... is to live. No more accepting to ordinary or putting our dreams and hopes on the shelf for another day. The only person who can accomplish is the one who dreams.

I have had to endure some odd occurrences lately in my life. Some family issues recently arose and it required me to take a stand. In so doing I saw someone emerge from me that I didn't know existed. When I take a step back and look at how I've changed, I see an egg at mid-hatch. (It's kind of like not hatched, but its not just chillin there either... its at mid-hatch. Check your Trey dictionary if your cornfused.) Or, perhaps and plant of some sort just barely bursting through the soil... maybe not quiet that far yet. More like the stage when its just beginning to emerge from the seed, yet still in the soil. EITHER WAY... the point is I feel like I am evolving into a larger person, a better person than I was before. This event has left me with some hard choices to make. I know I need to act and do the right thing. Therfore in so doing, I will continue to evolve, grow and learn about myself. But I do like the path I am on. I feel hopeful, positive and confident in where its leading.

Lately...

2008-10-08T19:09:00.000-06:00

I was just reading Dave and Brets blogs and decided to post one of my own. Not much has changed, though I feel there have been some details excluded by accident. They follow:

I'm taking 12 credits at Utah State. They're just a few generals but are helpful in getting my mind focused on a degree. My most fascinitating one, oddly enough, is my USU 1330 class or Creative Arts. I have been attending performances at the Eccles and USUs performance hall. I've been able to hear "EB3" (a jazz band that topped the jazz charts last year; Starring Corey Christiansen and Mike Christiansen, both locals!) in the performance hall and really enjoyed it. I also heard the Fry Street Quartet perform 2.5 hours of Beethoven. I've been to High School Musical, Nunsense at the Eccles as well as East Village Opera Company. (Which was amazing by the way, they broke out into Eminem for the encore!!!) I've been pondering a lot several degrees that span the spectrum. One days its being a financial advisor and helping people get out of debt, another day its an institute teacher or family counselor or a high school counselor, lately becoming an architect or doing therapeutic recreation have been bouncing around inside my wee lil noggin as well. I have also considered re-enlisting in the Army and becoming a chaplain. So as you can tell I'm still undeclared at USU.

Regarding my deployment: I got a phone call from the Army back in... I think it was about June of 2006, informing me that I would be headed to Afghanistan. Much like opening my mission call I had no idea where that was. As time marched on I came to learn where it was located and who I the Unit I would be deploying with. Months before we left for our deployment we spend many weeks away from home training in the Utah dessert and learning how to fight as well as do our specific jobs. On 06 December 2006 I boarded a plane in Salt Lake bidding farewell to family and biting my lip to keep the tears back. I had it easy, others left behing newlyborn sons, pregnant wives and ill family members. We travelleed to Colorado and met up with the rest of the Unit. We then left 3 days later for Indiana, where we continued learning and adapting to being deployed. Times were hard getting to know everyone, getting along and being under such pressure. But we seemed to get by and formed close friendships with those around us. After we completed training in Indiana we shipped out to Afghanistan. Or so we thought. We travelled to Germany and sat there on the plane for hours. After waiting a fairly good amount of time we were told to get off the plane and leave our things, we'd only be gone an hour. 6 days later we were allowed to board once again. Our delay in Germany was due to weather in Manas, Kyrgystan. This was our checkpoint where they would count us as boots on ground, meaning our time started ticking and we would redeploy (go home) 1 year later. However, the time we spent in Germany wasn't credited towards our deployment time. We finally got to Manas on the 15th of February. We climatized briefly for 3 days and then dropped into Afghanistan, where I spent one hour. There were 5 of us being shipped to Kuwait for another mission. We were going to be LNO's for Afghanistan. This meant that we would be sending troops into Afghanistan and pulling them from there as well. We were expected to treat all Colonels and above with VIP treatment. Therefore we were escorting around some impressive people with some impressive rank. But none with as much rank or respect as Elder Ballard. Our mission wasn't of high priority with regards to winning the war. I didn't wear my body army 24/7 and I only carried my weapon when I left U.S. ground. But for me it was a monumental moment in my life. There were several occurances and trying times while I was there. I was able to meet a few celebrities, one being my idol, Lance Armstrong. I almost lost my Grandpa and wasn't going to be allowed to travel home to see him. It was a long year to say the least. But in the end, I would do it all over again. It was an experience of a lifetime. Where I learned a lot about who I am and what I do and why I do it. After being "in country" just shy of a year we headed back stateside. We landed in Colorado and much to our surprise they had a crowd to greet our return. As we moved from the plane to the busses we were handed McDonalds cheeseburgers and a soda. Once we boarded the busses we received a full on escort to our barracks. Traffic was stopped at all intersections, people stepped outside their cars to see us, hundred waved. It was an awesome experience! After our time in Colrado we were finally cleared to head back to Utah. As our plane circled about the Salt Lake airport my palms began sweating and I got nervous. I hadn't seen my family for 7 months or so. Which with regards to a LDS mission isn't much. But the feelings were of the same intensity. As we dropped from the escalators we saw our families. After we enjoyed our reunions the news cameras came in and collected a few comments. It was great to be home again and see my family and friends!

When I think of making it back safe and sound I can't help but think about those who never did. The ones who devoted themselves and their lives for our freedoms. The ones who left behind their sons or daughters, their spouses, friends etc. They ARE fighting for our freedoms in a foreign land so we don't have to on our own soil. All gave some, some gave all. It seems like America is forgetting. I recently attended an event in which the National Anthem was sung. Have you ever asked yourself what it is to give respect during the national anthem? I liken it to taking the sacrament. Granted the scales don't compare, but its the example that matters. When we take the sacrament we reflect on Christ and his life and the gospel. Things of that nature. When we hear the National Anthem, its a time for us to reflect on our freedoms, those who died for us and our liberties. Could you imagine sitting in sacrament and having people talk or move around and discuss the weather outside? Its unheard of. Why is the National Anthem any different? I hope you get my point. I'm not trying to disgrace the sacrament. Its just to compare. What the sacrament is to church, the National Anthem is to American Freedom.

Vicks DayQuillllZzzZzzZzz

2008-09-25T12:49:00.000-06:00

Just a funny story real quick. I've been fighting this infamous illness that's getting passed around and in an attempt to win I bought some Vick's DayQuil. Well Sunday morning I read the dosage and concluded I needed to cap fulls per dose. As I later learned it's actually one cap full per dose. So Sunday during Sacrament I couldn't, for the life of me, keep my eyes open. Krystal would bump me on occasion and tell me to open my eyes. They would open, but only long enough to see a bright light, then they would melt shut again. Finally Priesthood came around, and just like that by gally it was over. I didn't learn anything sleeping the whole time, but I sure felt better when I woke up. Moral of the story is that even though Vick's DayQuil is for day and won't knock you out like the NyQuil, overdosing may STILL CAUSE DROWSINESS!

September?

2008-09-25T12:33:00.000-06:00

5 more days, yep thats right 5 more days and September will be gone. Then its gonna be October. (I'm smart I know.) Which leaves me asking, where did September go? It seems like last week I was just getting my books and supplies for school. Time flies when your having fun and busy.

Anyways, things haven't changed a whole lot in my life lately. But I thought I'd take a minute and put some of those upgrades on here. First has to do with work. As many of you know I have been working at Icon. It was a miracle that I found a job that is as flexible as they are with my schooling, and to boot I'll soon be getting a raise. Like 2 bucks to be exact which is unreal. They mentioned to us that in February they would more than likely be letting a lot of people go through lay offs. After the meeting my boss pulled me aside and said that I was one of the 16 or so that he already planned on keeping. It made me feel appreciated, now I know that my hard work is paying off and isn't just being taken for granted.

Also, Krystal and I have decided to be "exclusive" as some people call it these days. "I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious"-Kip from Napolean Dynamite commenting on his relationship with LaFonda. After having been sick for a few days I went over to her Apartment to see her and her little monkey (Her daughter Kryzlynn). I opened the fridge for some reason and there sat a fridgemate of coke, just for me. Now if that doesn't show she cares, I don't know what would....LOL... So last night to make things even, while she was at school I got into her apartment, washed her dishes, vacuumed and swept. Then I got chinese for dinner and some cold busters from jamba juice since we're both getting sick. It was a most excellent night. She really is an amazing girl and I hope you all will one day have the opportunity of meeting her.

I think that about all I have to say for now. School is going pretty good and everything else seems to be working itself out. Now if I could only find a way to get the niners to win the Super Bowl!

Booyah! LOL

2008-07-21T13:23:00.000-06:00

So school has started and life has once again picked itself up and got moving again. Its been chaotic and fast but I love it. Keeping everything under control and moving forward brings with it a sense of accomplishment. My life seems to be divided into a few large aspects. I'll break them down below.(Note to reader: they aren't in order of importance. ;)

~ School: What better way to stay busy, motivated and focused. Its funny I say that as I procrastinate doing homework to write this blog. I'm currently undecided in my studies, but am leaning towards being a family/high school counselor or possibly a business psychologist, kinda like Stephen Covey or possibly even an Institute teacher/ Seminary teacher. I'm pretty sure I will find a career on one of those aspects. Which brings us to the next time conumer in my life.

~ Employment: This story is a rather fascinating one. I had been doing Landscaping before I was deployed and kind of enjoyed it. It gave me the opportunity to get out a lot of built up aggression from previous hardhsips in life. Post deployment I returned to landscaping and quickly realized I had grown and no longer desired to submit myself to such a physically demanding field of work. So I gave the boss a 2 week notice and took some time off. Once I started looking for work again it dawned on me that school was going to conflict with work. I looked and hunted for a job that could allow to me to balance school as well. I resorted to a temp agency and was put to work at Icon, working in the plastics mold department. It too was going to make school nearly impossible to succeed at. Demanding that I work at night when sleep, homework and school musical presentations would need to be attended. I called my Mom one day and told her about how school and work were going to be a major conflict and that maybe I needed to keep looking for work. The following night I went to work, as I walked in the Boss asked how school was going. I told him it was keeping me busy. To that he replied, "I have a proposal for you." He caught my attention. "I'm listening." I told him with a chuckle. He then proceeded to explain his proposal to me, which boils down to me working 2 days a week and having the other 5 works days optional and I could work them when and if I needed to. Which indeed fit my schedule. I allowed me to attend local musical performances for class, do my homework and still catch some shut eye. I accepted his proposal. The following day I called my Mom and recited the same to her. She was silent for a moment on the phone, which kind of caught me off guard. Then she told me about how she had fasted the day before so that I would be taken care of.

~ Dating: I know, it makes me laugh to. But believe it or not I can do it. I tend to attract the cream of the crop. I've come to conclude that it has to be my charm, charisma or my astoundingly astonishing chess skills. Actually I think it just cause my family pleads that I might find someone. When I say plead I'm mean they ask their fellow ward members to fast in my behalf to find someone. Okay so not really to any of the above, but I do date. I have found a young lady that I am considering focusing more attention on. She is very much what I imagine my "soulmate" to be like. Its just a matter of time and getting to know her better before I fully committ myself. I've learned its better to be safe than sorry. Anyways, that her and I posted below.